we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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