How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
