Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
