i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
