its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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