All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
