Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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