She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
