Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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