Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
