ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
