Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
