So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
