i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
