My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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