think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
