You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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