What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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