we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
