If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
