She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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