I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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