Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
