Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
