He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
