I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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