you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
