Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Let's get the cat blown out
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
