Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
