Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
