Just fell off a train. Bad.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
