Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
