I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
