she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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