Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
