I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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