I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You need Xanax blowdarts
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
