I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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