Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
