apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
