summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
