ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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