i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
