nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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