oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
