Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
