yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
