i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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