Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
