you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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