STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
vagina is talking i cant
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
