Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
